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Being a big sports fan, I noticed this weekend that the children’s chorus from the Newtown School District not only sang the national anthem at the Knick game on Friday or Saturday (can’t remember which)…but also performed at the Superbowl yesterday down in New Orleans. I mean…what a whirlwind tour for those kids! What an experience! Like how lucky can you get? Of course the other side of that coin would be the 20 children and teachers who were mowed down by that freak just a few weeks back. Talk about drawing the deuce of clubs versus the ace of spades! I guess sometimes life ain’t fair!
Like yesterday morning, knowing that I had a lot of stuff to do before watching the game, I tried patiently and diplomatically to ease the girl who stayed over out the door for literally hours. But when I criticized her for soaking down my bathroom while trying to take a shower, she broke on me calling yours truly “nothing but a fucking trick” while releasing a fusillade of insults my way…all while seemingly oblivious to the fact that I had shit to do and that I’d given her way more time than anybody else would need to wake up, gather her belongings and move on! Talk about operating at the speed of molasses flowing uphill…she would be the poster girl! Not to be unappreciative of my position in the deck…I’ll take my momentary humiliation at the hands of a whacko to being one of those 20 teachers and children caught in a hail of bullets!
And talk about your ace of spades versus deuce of clubs syndrome, right in the middle of me desperately trying to move the aforementioned girl on, my phone rang with a Russian woman who booked an ad with me once like two years ago. I remember she was very uncharacteristically nice (sometimes Russian women can be – or at least appear to be – cold), good-looking in a blonde milfish way – and best of all, requesting to hire me to help her write some sort of 20 page paper for a school deal.
We had an instant rapport the first and only time we met…and I seem to remember asking myself “maybe I should call this girl for a normal date?” at the time. (She was clearly not a pro – just dabbling.) Whatever, now I’m gonna get paid to hang out with her. And of course, I’ll be hoping for a little sexual harassment coming my way. Nothing like making love to the boss when she’s hot! Why not?
Moving on to a subject somebody might give a crap about…yesterday’s game turned out to be pretty good. I liked the no call in the end zone – even if there was a little holding going on. The niners had 4 chances to score and really fell apart for the last 3 plays. They didn’t deserve to win. Just my opinion. And even if they’d scored, Baltimore would have had 2 minutes and 3 timeouts to march the ball down the field for a game-winning field goal which given the 4 down reality, was almost a foregone conclusion.
And Beyonce? Very hot – even if I dissed her yesterday for not having big juggs or a badonkandonk. At one point, I turned off the sound to concentrate on the visuals (a very different way to view musical performances as you notice a lot of stuff you don’t if you’re hearing what’s going on) and the entire presentation looked more like a pagan sex rite than musical showtime! Ditto with the promo for “2 Broke Girls!” Except that looked downright pornographic! Sometimes I wonder whether all that oozing sexuality has a place as a commercial or presentation punctuating a football game. Ya know…like when I wanna watch football, give me one of those Miller High Life commercials with the big, friendly black guy delivering kegs and stuff. And when I wanna watch a girl sucking some lucky guy’s boner, then I’ll go to xhamster.
Whatever…the bottom line is…I think I’d rather fuck the “broke girl” with the big tits than Beyonce. That’s about what I got out of those two Superbowl segments. Hardly an uplifting sentiment I’m sure we can all agree. But on the other hand, I thoroughly enjoyed the tykes of Newtown singing the national anthem and America The Beautiful. At least, they weren’t dressed in mini skirts and thongs! Thank goodness and a little good taste for small favors.